Relationship Pattern Library

When someone repeatedly denies or twists what happened until you doubt your own memory or perception.

Overwhelming affection, attention, or gifts early on — often followed by withdrawal once you're invested.

Unpredictable cycles of warmth and coldness that keep you hoping for the good version to come back.

Withdrawing communication or affection as punishment, leaving you to guess what you did wrong.

Shutting down or refusing to engage whenever a difficult conversation begins.

Changing what's expected of you every time you meet the last demand, so nothing is ever enough.

Accusing you of the very behavior they're doing — like being called dishonest by someone who lies.

Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender — when raising a concern ends with you apologizing to them.

Big promises about the future — trips, changes, commitments — that never materialize but keep you waiting.

Giving just enough attention to keep you hopeful, without ever offering real consistency.

Reappearing with charm or crisis right when you start to pull away, pulling you back into the cycle.

Bringing a third person — real or implied — into the dynamic to make you feel replaceable or jealous.